This is my Positive Deviance, how about yours?

Last Friday,  a friend of mine called and asked for a ride to school. Usually I don't pick up anyone during the week unless they ask me a week in advance. She had missed the school bus and her parents were not going to drive her. If she didn't get a ride from me, she would have received LOP or Saturday School. She was very thankful because her parents would yell at her for a long time for the consequence from school.

When I drive, I usually ignore phone calls. Since the call came in as I was just pulling out of my driveway, I pulled over and parked to check the call.  I recognized that my good friend was calling.  We have known each other since Freshman year and are close friends. I believe in helping people out when they need it.  I thought about saying no, but I knew she would be in trouble with her parents and would be very angry at me.
I knew that I had time to get to her house and still make it to school on time.  Against my own rule,  I decided to go and pick her up.

I felt that I could have said no and I would feel guilty versus helping her out, feeling better and being able to keep her out of trouble with her parents.  I felt good that I had helped her. She was lucky that she was able to get help from me because I did not have early morning polo practice or flute choir.  Otherwise, she would have been out of luck.

By the time I got to her house, her parents were just about to leave for work and drive a younger sibling to her school.  They did not plan to drive her since she had overslept and they had to get the younger sister to school.  They thanked me for helping out.

I felt appreciated because the parents were grateful and my friend was appreciative.
Sometimes you have to break your rules within limits to help others.
Even though I helped her out, I remember that she distinctly managed to get a bit mad at me.  Since she was part of the Click It or Ticket movement at school, she thought I was driving and talking on the cell phone. Once I told her that luckily she caught me just pulling out, I was able to pick up her call. Funny how that worked out!

My Mom just found out about what I did because of this blog.  She was mad at first because I did not tell her about my 'good deed'. Since she worries about me on the road, talking on a cell phone and getting to school on time and safely, I did not reveal this story until she read this blog.  She is not mad at me anymore after I explained what I did.  Before I was able to tell the whole story, she was furious because she thought I had used my phone while driving. Once I told the whole story and emphasized that I had pulled over before answering my phone, she calmed down and agreed it was a good deed.  My Mom also laughed at my one week in advance rule and said it was a bit harsh!  Maybe I really mean, I would like to get a heads-up instead of last minute notices! I don't like changing plans at last minute.  Maybe I can change this too sometime!

I'm not your typical guy

Throughout my life I have tried to be very social, demonstrate the Boy Scouts values, and I will always try to help my friends.   I was exposed to whatever my sister was doing and I always talked to others and listened to them when they needed someone to talk to. Also I became socially responsible through Boy Scouts because we did community projects and we needed to have people skills.  The Boy Scouts value system, the scout motto, the scout promise, law, and oath taught me to be kind to others, respect others, be obedient when you are working with others and be trustworthy.  Those of us who are Eagle Scouts live by this everyday.

I believe in helping others and especially my friends. When there is a friend that needs some help I will help out without any prompting. Sometimes my friends need to hold me back because I sometimes go overboard with things. 

What I was learning from my family, sports, and boy scouts I expected other guys to do the same. I would expect them to be respectful to others and be kind when others aren’t being so kind to you. In sports activities, you still need to be respectful to your opposing team; whether you win or lose, you respect them as members of a team.   For instance I witnessed a club college water polo game where one team ran up the score on a team, which was not at the same level of play.  They rubbed it into their faces and were showing off.  It was an example of poor sportsmanship and disrespect. 

I would expect anyone to be kind to others when they are going through a rough time with school, team, family, or friends. Friends can be support when someone doesn’t get support at home.  If you show support to your friends, they will return the support and friendship.

I am interested in the fine arts such as painting, sketching and playing the flute. Typically, more girls seem to play the flute and are interested in creating art.  In the sports that I play, they can be played by both genders.  

My family and Boy Scouts taught me to be respectful at all times, get along with others and to be nice to others at all times. All of this helped me to become the person who I am. If I weren’t encouraged to do all these things and my activities, I would not be the person who I am today.   

In Asian countries, there are cultural differences between male and females and how they are treated.  In China, the male comes first before the female. While in the U.S. everyone strives to be equal no matter what kind of person you are.    Personally, I can think of a gender difference due to my Grandma’s background.  She was born in China and immigrated to the United States in 1950.  She still believes in her old culture where the males are most important.  My Dad and Uncle are not like that; they are Americanized and treat girls and boys (my cousins) the same.

In school we are taught that we should be treated equally despite our differences in faith, ethnicity, sexuality.  I can see that at SHS, we have clubs and social groups that reflect these differences.  I believe that gender beliefs are looked upon equally.  If I went to visit a smaller high school in a rural area, there is less diversity and less tolerance for gender differences.  If I went to visit a school in India or China, there would be definite gender differences.

                 I have observed a ‘typical guy’ in school that tries to act smart and tough, telling unkind jokes, and saying and doing things without thinking. Guys try to act smart and tough to impress each other and girls.  They bully others to show or impress others with what they know and how tough they appear to be. 

                I have observed a ‘typical girl’ in school being mean to others.  They are verbally mean and ignore their friends or exclude them when they are mad at each other.             

                Boys and girls may act differently, but they are both showing disrespect. 

Come to think about it there is a gender difference as we found out in class this week.  The guys in the class felt awkward to play with any of the dolls and the girls were playing away with our toys that we played brought.  Is there a gender difference or is it just because what we are used to playing with?  I could play with Barbie’s because my sister had them; but I didn’t.  I chose to play with my toys.  

blog 9

Family shaped the way I am now. Without my family, I would probably flunk out of high school. I would be playing in land sports not water sports. Without having the backing of my family, I probably would not have gone into cub scouts and boy scouts.  I would not have earned the Eagle rank.

I have been raised to think of family always. Family comes first, which means we support everyone any way that we can.  My family consists of four of us; there is my mom, dad, older sister and I. My sister and I are half Japanese and half Chinese.  I have lived my whole life in the same house in Buffalo Grove; my parents have been living in our house since 1990.  My sister and I have played almost the same sports in junior high and high school.  We both played water polo, swimming, and soccer. I did track, cross-country, and basketball for a while.

My whole family lives in the area and we have big family gatherings at one of my aunts or uncles houses. My Grandparents and my oldest Aunt from my Dad’s side are from China; all but one of my aunts and uncle were born here. On my Mom’s side of the family, my Mom and my Grandparents were born here while my Great Grandparents were born in Japan.  On the Moy’s side we have 7 Aunts and 1 uncle and my dad who are married with 1-3 kids. That means we have 19 cousins in the Moy family.  On the Azuma side we have 4 uncles and my Mom.  Everybody is married and there are 9 cousins.

My parents encouraged me to join Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, and to eventually get my Eagle Scout rank. In doing so, I learned to always give back to the community.  Being an Eagle Scout is important because I was trained to help out no matter if I get paid. In the Order of the Arrow our saying is “cheerful surface.” No matter what, we will not accept payment of any kind. We are humble to do the work and should not complain of anything while we are working.

We believe in getting the best education that we can get. My parents want the best for my sister and I and encourage us to go to college and eventually get the best job we can. My Dad is a computer engineer and my Mom is process analyst.  My older sister is going to UW-Madison, Wisconsin and studying food science.   I am getting ready to got to UW-Whitewater, Wisconsin and may study music education, education, or Environmental Science.

So the last year or two my Mom and my Dad were on the border of being “Tiger Parents” and the “Country of Wimps”. My parents were pushing and pounding me to review my homework, study, study, study for A’s and better ACT scores.  A couple of times we got into arguments about homework or test grades.  On the other hand, I was allowed free time to play games and go see my friends on the weekend or just relax.  I didn’t have to just study or play; I was able to take music lessons and play the flute in the band. 

My family values sit down dinners because we can see each other, relax, and discuss things that our minds. Sometimes we talk about our days and the good or bad things that happened. The conversations are short because I need to do my homework. Even though I don’t get home until late evening because of sports practices, we still eat together.

My family enjoys photography as a hobby. My Mom takes pictures of any game or event that either my sister or me are in.  My Dad takes video as well.  We are able to enjoy watching the water polo games or swim meets.  We have shared this with my team members too. We have at least 1,400 pictures so far for our water polo season and it is still growing! We have a lot of fun taking pictures and showing videos to the team.

Looking back I can see my family and extended are the center of who I am.  Looking forward to my college days, my perspective may change.  I will be living and studying on my own.  I will have to make my own choices and decisions.  I may meet new people with different backgrounds, beliefs and values.  This may change my opinions on the world.  I can always draw back on my family to help.

Are we materialistic

Not all American families are materialistic. I disagree with author L. Robert Kohl because he looks at American life from a macro view and it doesn’t necessarily look at individual families like my own. From a micro-view, my family lives more conservatively than some other American families. My family values include getting a good education, family relationships and giving back to the community by volunteering.  We don’t buy a lot of stuff that we don’t need or won’t use.

While some people buys designer clothes, or gets a new car every 2 or 3 years, or the newest electronic gadget; we make our choices depending on what we need.  I do buy designer brands but I often get it after it is popular and it will be cheaper. As a family, we hold on to our cars and maintain them to run a long time.    We do own cell phones, computers, Blu Ray player and televisions.  We use them for day-to-day life and they are not the most popular brands.  For a hobby, we document our family memories. Because we value our celebrations and memories, we use two DSLR cameras that we recently purchased after doing some research and looking for the best sale.  My family and I donate our old clothes and items that we know people in need can use. Also, we buy used CDs, DVDs, and find bargains at the stores that we usually go.  

When I was younger, I used to buy card games that were popular but after everyone lost interest in it, I stopped buying them.  I know now that I bought these cards because everyone else had them; I really did not need them.  Instead, I save my money for going out with friends, video games or books.  I don’t buy things as often as I used to.

From a macro-view, people may incorrectly judge a large group of people based on a stereotypical belief.  Because a small group of people behaves one way; it doesn’t mean everyone is like that.   Other countries judge Americans by the belief that all Americans over indulge, value materialistic things over family, friends and relationships.  This view may be due to the Internet, friends that have visited America, textbooks, American Movies, and reality TV. Depending on the country, the Internet may be controlled by their government and controls what the people will see.  The news could be one-sided and may be false or portrayed in an exaggerated way. The textbooks are sometimes incorrect or tell one side of the story. The friends that come to U.S. sometimes misunderstand the American culture and tell their friends in their homeland something not true. Some people who watch American reality shows might take things the wrong way and have the wrong impression of American life. We don’t all live on beach houses on the ocean side or live in mansions in Beverly Hills. 

What does it mean to be an American in my family? We work hard at our jobs to earn a good living. We make choices to spend or not to spend on items with our earnings.  We want to live comfortably in our own house and with what we want to have.   We want to get the best education to get into a good university to earn a college degree.  We value family because we will always be there for each other.  Growing up with 25 cousins means lots of family get together and vacations!  I remember since I was little our vacations to Wisconsin, Colorado, Utah, and Florida. When we get together, it is for fun.  Due to my parent’s value of making sure we grew up knowing all of my Aunts, Uncles and cousins, I always remember our parties and look forward to future graduations and weddings!   We don’t have to compare what types of cars we drive or where we live; we just get together.

What does it mean to be an American in my family? We work hard at our jobs to earn a good living. We make choices to spend or not to spend on items with our earnings.  We want to live comfortably in our own house and with what we want to have.

Blog 5

Getting used to new ways of learning and advocating for myself.

I was so used to having teachers help me and now I had to go ask for help.

My first two weeks at Twin Grove Junior High was crazy.  Transferring from Cove School to Twin full time shocked me so much; it was as if a thunderbolt struck with no warning. The shock left me feeling scared and very unsure of myself.   I was the new kid at the school, not knowing what to do, who to turn to or who to seek help from.

This new kid had spent the last six years attending Cove and receiving special services for my language learning disability. Now, it was my time to come back to my district school, adjust to junior high expectations and prepare for the transition to Stevenson High School.  Talk about high expectations for a 14 year old! 

When I was at Cove I had no homeroom, stayed in one room for most of the time, and the classes were small.  At Twin I had a homeroom, traveled class to class, and sat in larger classes.  Traveling from class to class took longer and I had to get used to walking up and down stairs. That took awhile to get used to because walking up and down the stairs so much got me winded.   Traveling and the noise of tons more kids in a crowded hallway was a new experience at first.  I got used to this part of junior high after the first month of school.  It didn’t seem to be much of a shock once I found my classes and had a traveling buddy to talk to.

I got past this experience and then needed to get used to the classrooms.  At Cove we had technology to help us concentrate. There were speakers in some classes to amplify the teacher’s voice.  At Twin there wasn’t any speakers in the rooms and I had to change my learning style to concentrate when the teacher talked.

Again, I had to adjust to this new set up and again I adjusted over time.  Things were starting to settle in, but still crazy.

We go to school to learn.  Both schools valued providing a good education for all of the students. How I received the instruction to learn was different in both schools.  Cove valued learning through assistance and one on one attention during all classes.  Twin valued independent learning and encouraging more peer help or seeking help on your own.   For me, it was hard to advocate for myself and it took me longer to get used to asking.  I was unsure of myself and how to ask for help.   I was scared to ask on my own and I felt that the teachers would look down on me. It was easier to be quiet than to ask a question.  I felt if you knew the teacher, it would be easier to ask for help.  Some of other students knew the teacher from previous years and were able to ask for help.

At Twin, we had groups of people with similar interests due to sports and extra curricular activities.  At Cove, we didn’t have as many choices.  I had to figure out what I could do to fit into a group.  I chose to participate in Band and Cross Country and Track.  I felt that I had to fit in and tried out new activities.  Twin emphasized extra curricular activities and getting involved.  I had to balance this with keeping up with my homework.

 The norms were different between the schools.  I was used to having reminders to do my homework and help with my homework f I needed help without asking. While at Twin, it was up to us to do the homework on time with no reminders. Because we had no reminders at Twin for homework everything was graded.  At Cove my progress was measured through my individual learning goals. I felt pressure to keep up with the work to get good high grades.

At Twin the emphasis for success and achievement was receiving high letter grades and at Cove your success showed up when you had a meeting and talked about your progress in your goals.     

            The difference that I saw was at Cove I was getting help on an individual basis. When I was at Twin I saw that I needed to get more help from the teacher or ask for my accommodations.   Good grades were seen as rewards or sanctions for your work at Twin while progress at Cove was sanctioned.

             Both schools had behavior expectations and guidelines to follow.  We needed to behave in class at both schools.  While at Cove, behavior was a learning goal for some, there were some that received a form of punishment when misbehaving during lunch or recess. For those that have the behavior goals needs to be in a separate room for the lunch/recess. It is not for punishment; it is more for their benefit if they stay in that room because they might hart somebody if they get out of control with their behavior.  At Twin, you knew there were rules and if you chose to disobey, there were detentions.

By the middle part of the year, things were going better for me.  Looking back, I could see there were more similarities than differences between the schools.  Students went to school in a building with several classrooms divided by grade or subject. The same instructional language was spoken, we raised our hand to speak in class and we addressed the flag each morning with the Pledge of Allegiance.  There were no different symbols to understand.  The only difference was how I needed to fit in with the norm with my learning disability.  The skill to self-advocate was one that I was not entirely prepared for and something that I had to learn.  I had great experiences with most of my teachers as I could see they valued seeing success for all.  The shock of the thunderbolt wore off and I enjoyed eighth grade. Looking back, the transition to Stevenson started a little easier for me.  Instead of a thunderbolt, I got hit with a snowball. 

blog4

A winning sports team works together to win. Winning requires teamwork to complete a play or win a game. Last year, the SHS Boys Varsity Water Polo team didn’t work as a team that much and we lost more games than we won. We did not communicate with each other on the field and it resulted in frustration each time that we lost.

 Structure Functionalism is the theory that states all aspects of society serve a function and are necessary for the survival of that society. Each structure has a function that contributes to the continued stability or equilibrium of the whole. Any disorganization or dysfunction in a structure must lead to change.   In my opinion,   last year, the SHS water polo players were dysfunctional.  We had players out of position and players that did not know where to go.  The dysfunction on our team was due to the lack of communication between players.

We lost our sectional game to Mundelein and everyone was down because of it. But I can tell that we weren’t playing as a team at first. I saw some people calling for the ball when they weren’t even open to shoot the ball into the goal but the person that had the ball had an opening to shoot. Instead of shooting it they passed it to the person that was yelling the loudest. Usually that person ended up missing the goal or the shot was blocked by the goalie.

In a regular season game, we try to give the ball to the Hole (the position in the front of the goalie about 2 meters line) to let him shoot but each time he gets dunked and had the ball stolen.  Even when he didn’t get dunked he usually shot it blindly and it either hit the goal or went out of bounds. We were relying on the person in the Hole to get us a goal but we weren’t relying on each other to get the goal from the outside. And we weren’t working as a team.  Dysfunction can lead to change. I recognized that we needed to communicate better with each other on the field. 

As a team, we wanted to win. We had our own goals to win but needed to realize our team goal was to win together.  In structural functionalism, you need to realize goals and have social cohesion. Our team needed to come together and work towards the same goal and win for the team and our school. 

Our main focus on the team is to work together to win. Also there are the fun things about being on the team.  We get to know each other, form friendships, keep fit through all the exercise, hang out together and have fun at team meals. Some of us have known each other for four years because we participated in the sport for our whole high school career.  These are the latent functions of being on a team.

This year the team will be different. Our coach has planned to have more time get together to play. We will learn to play as one and not play on an individual basis.  By having class work (watching tapes that my dad video taped) and on late arrivals having team breakfast at a restaurant that we choose to go to after practice, we will grow as a cohesive group and become a team, We will learn from each other and adapt to each other’s style of communication and play.  And if we need more time to bond the coach may let me organize events on the weekends.

Structural functionalism talks about passing along traditions.  We have a water polo tradition to teach and mentor the newer members of the team. We teach them from our experiences and serve as role models so that they will carry the team on next season when the seniors are gone.  Go PATS!

Blog3: The sociological imagination

I think that the sociological imagination is the reactions of others for an example, jobs are always looking for people who can do the job and not slack off. When they are hiring they will hire an Eagle scout verses some one who is not. In that perspective Eagle scout will find a way to finish the project and see it through. In my mind it is like the case and effect, first something happens than there are repercussions will be coming after the incident. An example of case and effect is, one person dose something and others react to it and the person will have consequences, good or bad, in the future.