This is my Positive Deviance, how about yours?

Last Friday,  a friend of mine called and asked for a ride to school. Usually I don't pick up anyone during the week unless they ask me a week in advance. She had missed the school bus and her parents were not going to drive her. If she didn't get a ride from me, she would have received LOP or Saturday School. She was very thankful because her parents would yell at her for a long time for the consequence from school.

When I drive, I usually ignore phone calls. Since the call came in as I was just pulling out of my driveway, I pulled over and parked to check the call.  I recognized that my good friend was calling.  We have known each other since Freshman year and are close friends. I believe in helping people out when they need it.  I thought about saying no, but I knew she would be in trouble with her parents and would be very angry at me.
I knew that I had time to get to her house and still make it to school on time.  Against my own rule,  I decided to go and pick her up.

I felt that I could have said no and I would feel guilty versus helping her out, feeling better and being able to keep her out of trouble with her parents.  I felt good that I had helped her. She was lucky that she was able to get help from me because I did not have early morning polo practice or flute choir.  Otherwise, she would have been out of luck.

By the time I got to her house, her parents were just about to leave for work and drive a younger sibling to her school.  They did not plan to drive her since she had overslept and they had to get the younger sister to school.  They thanked me for helping out.

I felt appreciated because the parents were grateful and my friend was appreciative.
Sometimes you have to break your rules within limits to help others.
Even though I helped her out, I remember that she distinctly managed to get a bit mad at me.  Since she was part of the Click It or Ticket movement at school, she thought I was driving and talking on the cell phone. Once I told her that luckily she caught me just pulling out, I was able to pick up her call. Funny how that worked out!

My Mom just found out about what I did because of this blog.  She was mad at first because I did not tell her about my 'good deed'. Since she worries about me on the road, talking on a cell phone and getting to school on time and safely, I did not reveal this story until she read this blog.  She is not mad at me anymore after I explained what I did.  Before I was able to tell the whole story, she was furious because she thought I had used my phone while driving. Once I told the whole story and emphasized that I had pulled over before answering my phone, she calmed down and agreed it was a good deed.  My Mom also laughed at my one week in advance rule and said it was a bit harsh!  Maybe I really mean, I would like to get a heads-up instead of last minute notices! I don't like changing plans at last minute.  Maybe I can change this too sometime!

I'm not your typical guy

Throughout my life I have tried to be very social, demonstrate the Boy Scouts values, and I will always try to help my friends.   I was exposed to whatever my sister was doing and I always talked to others and listened to them when they needed someone to talk to. Also I became socially responsible through Boy Scouts because we did community projects and we needed to have people skills.  The Boy Scouts value system, the scout motto, the scout promise, law, and oath taught me to be kind to others, respect others, be obedient when you are working with others and be trustworthy.  Those of us who are Eagle Scouts live by this everyday.

I believe in helping others and especially my friends. When there is a friend that needs some help I will help out without any prompting. Sometimes my friends need to hold me back because I sometimes go overboard with things. 

What I was learning from my family, sports, and boy scouts I expected other guys to do the same. I would expect them to be respectful to others and be kind when others aren’t being so kind to you. In sports activities, you still need to be respectful to your opposing team; whether you win or lose, you respect them as members of a team.   For instance I witnessed a club college water polo game where one team ran up the score on a team, which was not at the same level of play.  They rubbed it into their faces and were showing off.  It was an example of poor sportsmanship and disrespect. 

I would expect anyone to be kind to others when they are going through a rough time with school, team, family, or friends. Friends can be support when someone doesn’t get support at home.  If you show support to your friends, they will return the support and friendship.

I am interested in the fine arts such as painting, sketching and playing the flute. Typically, more girls seem to play the flute and are interested in creating art.  In the sports that I play, they can be played by both genders.  

My family and Boy Scouts taught me to be respectful at all times, get along with others and to be nice to others at all times. All of this helped me to become the person who I am. If I weren’t encouraged to do all these things and my activities, I would not be the person who I am today.   

In Asian countries, there are cultural differences between male and females and how they are treated.  In China, the male comes first before the female. While in the U.S. everyone strives to be equal no matter what kind of person you are.    Personally, I can think of a gender difference due to my Grandma’s background.  She was born in China and immigrated to the United States in 1950.  She still believes in her old culture where the males are most important.  My Dad and Uncle are not like that; they are Americanized and treat girls and boys (my cousins) the same.

In school we are taught that we should be treated equally despite our differences in faith, ethnicity, sexuality.  I can see that at SHS, we have clubs and social groups that reflect these differences.  I believe that gender beliefs are looked upon equally.  If I went to visit a smaller high school in a rural area, there is less diversity and less tolerance for gender differences.  If I went to visit a school in India or China, there would be definite gender differences.

                 I have observed a ‘typical guy’ in school that tries to act smart and tough, telling unkind jokes, and saying and doing things without thinking. Guys try to act smart and tough to impress each other and girls.  They bully others to show or impress others with what they know and how tough they appear to be. 

                I have observed a ‘typical girl’ in school being mean to others.  They are verbally mean and ignore their friends or exclude them when they are mad at each other.             

                Boys and girls may act differently, but they are both showing disrespect. 

Come to think about it there is a gender difference as we found out in class this week.  The guys in the class felt awkward to play with any of the dolls and the girls were playing away with our toys that we played brought.  Is there a gender difference or is it just because what we are used to playing with?  I could play with Barbie’s because my sister had them; but I didn’t.  I chose to play with my toys.